softness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Me3kzWHl6c

in the above video linda parelli talks about being soft when we ask our horses to do things.  how softly can you ask for a transition?  a stop?  a back up?

i find myself yelling at billy a lot because i "think" i need to really be obvious in what i'm asking.  we have moved beyond that in our training however and i need to remember my own advice about progress!

one thing i struggle with a bit is when i am being soft i also feel like i'm being a big sneaky.  then when i start to think about being sneaky, billy mostly always tries to leave or does if we are playing at liberty!  how interesting!

i watched the gal in the above video asking hot jazz ever so softly for the transitions and the bring back and realized that softness does not have to look sneaky.  however when she "swung" her stick that DID look a bit sneaky to me.  i thought it looked like she was afraid to swing the stick?  thoughts on this?

i guess i would be afraid to swing a stick and string at linda parelli's horse with her looking on.....

when i am soft and quiet in my body, mind and emotions our play times seem to just flow.  billy is light as a feather as i ask for changes of direction, transitions up and down, half jumps and jumping the barrels.  the whole thing looks like a beautiful dance.  those sessions feed my soul and support me during the sessions where he runs me over, steals my treat bag and leaves with his tail flagging in the air- nanner nanner!

it's completely clear to me how important it is to be myself and be in the moment when i'm playing with billy.  however he also has responsibilities in our sessions.  i could be buddha some days and it wouldn't matter.  billy would still have his own agenda and his own ideas.

of course if i WAS buddha i guess i would completely understand the idea of never making the horse feel wrong...

progress

something i've noticed in the parelli program are students that don't progress.  people often come to the program because they have a difficult horse.  they start at one point in the process and get some tools, have some breakthroughs and then don't ask for more, of themselves or their horse.  the horse may have come into the program an extreme Right Brained Extrovert but as they gain confidence, they started to become more centered.  but the human still thinks of them as an extreme and treats them as such.  keeping both themselves and their horse in that tiny little spot on the horsenality chart.

i see people that are stuck in level 2, not progressing beyond because they are afraid to scare their horse.

the name of the game is progress.  and progress comes in the simplest of forms.

it can be a simple friendly game in which you up the anti.  progress further.  just how friendly can you get your horse with an umbrella?

be imaginative!  throw things on the ground.  stumble around like a drunk person.  note how your horse handles this and then PROGRESS.  help your horse get brave.  help him move past his fears to that space where he feels safe.  where he sees you as an effective leader.  use your imagination and the imaginations of your friends!

in one savvy club dvd (issue 74: calm, connected and responsive - extroverts - online) i heard linda parelli say that many many people have not won the friendly game.  they can play it with their stick and string and maybe they can touch the horse all over.  maybe.  but they don't progress the friendly game beyond that.  and then they wonder why their horse is always so nervous.

pay attention to how your horse feels about the situations you are putting him in and then balance your friendly game!  the friendly game can always be expanded on.  there is always one more thing you can try, test your horses confidence and then help him gain even more.

progress is the name of the game.  don't get stuck in the mud!  and don't blame the parelli program (or your instructor) when you don't progress.  it's completely up to you.