friendly game

i've been thinking about the friendly game versus desensitizing a horse.  i live in a place where the old cowboy way still prevails, though i must say most have tried to tone it down some.  probably because the cowboys aren't as young as they used to be and being bucked off before every ride just isn't in the cards anymore.  but i digress....

if you've been around horses for any length of time you've probably witnessed a horse being desensitized.  sometimes people just bombard the horse with lots of different stimulants, saddle pads, tarps, plastic bags, saddles, themselves, all done in fairly quick accession not allowing the horse time to think.  sometimes they barely have time to react, though i've seen a few just simply fall to the ground in panic.  then they get their feet tied and they have to lay there and be desensitized.  or if they put up a fight they are thrown to the ground and then desensitized.

when people desensitize their horse they are simply teaching them to put up with rude behavior.  not only that but over stimulating in this way can make the horse dull.  non responsive to it's environment.  and you are part of this environment.  so are grizzly bears.

the friendly game is not desensitization and should not be confused with that.

when we play the friendly game we are looking to teach our horse to manage it's emotions and think through things rather than just react.  we are not trying to desensitize them to this commotion.  we are looking to have our horses be responsive to us and to listen to us in times of stress.  when the friendly game is done right it can show your horse what a dependable leader you are, thereby encouraging your horse to look to you for support when it is scared.  looking to you for support and jumping on you when scared are two different things.  just sayin.

do things with the horse and for the horse, but never TO the horse.

the friendly game is the #1 game in the list of the 7 games for a reason.  it's the most important one to win.  winning the friendly game is the key to teaching your horse to "do nothing" when he is scared, instead of spooking, bolting, jumping on you or fighting.

it's never too late to spiff up your friendly game.

progress

something i've noticed in the parelli program are students that don't progress.  people often come to the program because they have a difficult horse.  they start at one point in the process and get some tools, have some breakthroughs and then don't ask for more, of themselves or their horse.  the horse may have come into the program an extreme Right Brained Extrovert but as they gain confidence, they started to become more centered.  but the human still thinks of them as an extreme and treats them as such.  keeping both themselves and their horse in that tiny little spot on the horsenality chart.

i see people that are stuck in level 2, not progressing beyond because they are afraid to scare their horse.

the name of the game is progress.  and progress comes in the simplest of forms.

it can be a simple friendly game in which you up the anti.  progress further.  just how friendly can you get your horse with an umbrella?

be imaginative!  throw things on the ground.  stumble around like a drunk person.  note how your horse handles this and then PROGRESS.  help your horse get brave.  help him move past his fears to that space where he feels safe.  where he sees you as an effective leader.  use your imagination and the imaginations of your friends!

in one savvy club dvd (issue 74: calm, connected and responsive - extroverts - online) i heard linda parelli say that many many people have not won the friendly game.  they can play it with their stick and string and maybe they can touch the horse all over.  maybe.  but they don't progress the friendly game beyond that.  and then they wonder why their horse is always so nervous.

pay attention to how your horse feels about the situations you are putting him in and then balance your friendly game!  the friendly game can always be expanded on.  there is always one more thing you can try, test your horses confidence and then help him gain even more.

progress is the name of the game.  don't get stuck in the mud!  and don't blame the parelli program (or your instructor) when you don't progress.  it's completely up to you.