softness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Me3kzWHl6c

in the above video linda parelli talks about being soft when we ask our horses to do things.  how softly can you ask for a transition?  a stop?  a back up?

i find myself yelling at billy a lot because i "think" i need to really be obvious in what i'm asking.  we have moved beyond that in our training however and i need to remember my own advice about progress!

one thing i struggle with a bit is when i am being soft i also feel like i'm being a big sneaky.  then when i start to think about being sneaky, billy mostly always tries to leave or does if we are playing at liberty!  how interesting!

i watched the gal in the above video asking hot jazz ever so softly for the transitions and the bring back and realized that softness does not have to look sneaky.  however when she "swung" her stick that DID look a bit sneaky to me.  i thought it looked like she was afraid to swing the stick?  thoughts on this?

i guess i would be afraid to swing a stick and string at linda parelli's horse with her looking on.....

when i am soft and quiet in my body, mind and emotions our play times seem to just flow.  billy is light as a feather as i ask for changes of direction, transitions up and down, half jumps and jumping the barrels.  the whole thing looks like a beautiful dance.  those sessions feed my soul and support me during the sessions where he runs me over, steals my treat bag and leaves with his tail flagging in the air- nanner nanner!

it's completely clear to me how important it is to be myself and be in the moment when i'm playing with billy.  however he also has responsibilities in our sessions.  i could be buddha some days and it wouldn't matter.  billy would still have his own agenda and his own ideas.

of course if i WAS buddha i guess i would completely understand the idea of never making the horse feel wrong...

henry ward beecher

a little something for the weekend

this article is an eye opener for why america is producing so many mediocre instructors.  wow!

here is an interesting article by tom moates.  i agree with some of what he says and disagree with some.  there is always something to learn from everyone, even when that someone is downtroding what you believe in ;)  i have read a few of tom's books that he wrote about harry whitney.  i really enjoyed them, though once again i felt that he had misinterpreted things that parelli teaches.  that seems to happen often in the "natural horsemanship world" and mostly i find out later that the person who is misquoting, or misunderstanding the program has never studied it.  i feel that it's difficult to make a clear judgement about something until you've put your time in and learned what you can about it first hand.

this pony is in amazing shape!!!  what an imagination these two have...

at the david lichman clinic he talked a lot about using music to get rhythm and relaxation.  this video is the ultimate example of this!  i've loved this video since they rode this test at the 2006 world equestrian games.  i sat on the edge of my seat watching it then and every single time i watch it now i'm on the edge of my seat, clapping, with tears in my eyes.  these two are simply amazing...

ray hunt

friendly game

i've been thinking about the friendly game versus desensitizing a horse.  i live in a place where the old cowboy way still prevails, though i must say most have tried to tone it down some.  probably because the cowboys aren't as young as they used to be and being bucked off before every ride just isn't in the cards anymore.  but i digress....

if you've been around horses for any length of time you've probably witnessed a horse being desensitized.  sometimes people just bombard the horse with lots of different stimulants, saddle pads, tarps, plastic bags, saddles, themselves, all done in fairly quick accession not allowing the horse time to think.  sometimes they barely have time to react, though i've seen a few just simply fall to the ground in panic.  then they get their feet tied and they have to lay there and be desensitized.  or if they put up a fight they are thrown to the ground and then desensitized.

when people desensitize their horse they are simply teaching them to put up with rude behavior.  not only that but over stimulating in this way can make the horse dull.  non responsive to it's environment.  and you are part of this environment.  so are grizzly bears.

the friendly game is not desensitization and should not be confused with that.

when we play the friendly game we are looking to teach our horse to manage it's emotions and think through things rather than just react.  we are not trying to desensitize them to this commotion.  we are looking to have our horses be responsive to us and to listen to us in times of stress.  when the friendly game is done right it can show your horse what a dependable leader you are, thereby encouraging your horse to look to you for support when it is scared.  looking to you for support and jumping on you when scared are two different things.  just sayin.

do things with the horse and for the horse, but never TO the horse.

the friendly game is the #1 game in the list of the 7 games for a reason.  it's the most important one to win.  winning the friendly game is the key to teaching your horse to "do nothing" when he is scared, instead of spooking, bolting, jumping on you or fighting.

it's never too late to spiff up your friendly game.

progress

something i've noticed in the parelli program are students that don't progress.  people often come to the program because they have a difficult horse.  they start at one point in the process and get some tools, have some breakthroughs and then don't ask for more, of themselves or their horse.  the horse may have come into the program an extreme Right Brained Extrovert but as they gain confidence, they started to become more centered.  but the human still thinks of them as an extreme and treats them as such.  keeping both themselves and their horse in that tiny little spot on the horsenality chart.

i see people that are stuck in level 2, not progressing beyond because they are afraid to scare their horse.

the name of the game is progress.  and progress comes in the simplest of forms.

it can be a simple friendly game in which you up the anti.  progress further.  just how friendly can you get your horse with an umbrella?

be imaginative!  throw things on the ground.  stumble around like a drunk person.  note how your horse handles this and then PROGRESS.  help your horse get brave.  help him move past his fears to that space where he feels safe.  where he sees you as an effective leader.  use your imagination and the imaginations of your friends!

in one savvy club dvd (issue 74: calm, connected and responsive - extroverts - online) i heard linda parelli say that many many people have not won the friendly game.  they can play it with their stick and string and maybe they can touch the horse all over.  maybe.  but they don't progress the friendly game beyond that.  and then they wonder why their horse is always so nervous.

pay attention to how your horse feels about the situations you are putting him in and then balance your friendly game!  the friendly game can always be expanded on.  there is always one more thing you can try, test your horses confidence and then help him gain even more.

progress is the name of the game.  don't get stuck in the mud!  and don't blame the parelli program (or your instructor) when you don't progress.  it's completely up to you.

vincent van gogh

making our better best

sometimes i lay awake at night worrying that i am letting billy down.  lately i've had such a hard time getting any play time in because of my darned foot, then i got the flu, it's been so hot and buggy making play time miserable. and on and on and on.  all these excuses.  they keep me up at night.

i think about all that we have to do before i can ride him.  at this rate i won't be on his back until he is 10 and i'm 45!!

then that sends me back to the fact that i can not get all caught up in the "shoulds" of life.  what i should do compared to what i am doing.  nothing that i'm doing right now, allowing billy to grow up some more, eat yummy green grass, chase his goats, is hurting him.  not at all!

i'll ride him when i ride him.  i sat on him two days ago and he was totally fine with it.  we have come so far in our horsemanship and have a long way to go, but again, i remind myself that we don't have a timeline.

i like to look back at pictures i've taken of billy over the years that i've had him.  it's amazing how much he has changed, grown up, started to really muscle up.  i can see by his build that he has a bit more filling out to do and i have some weight to lose.  giving each other a bit more time is a great idea.

we will work on making our better best!

i love

i love that even when my horse is out in the 10 acres, eating, and he sees my car he will canter across it to meet me at the driveway.  playfully bucking, striking and nickering his way over to me.

i love that my horse is so confident that he will come join in while we build a goat shed.  just hanging out while we run circular saws, nail guns and screw guns.  none of that phases him as long as he gets to be part of it all.

i love that my horse has two goats to move around, gather up, sometimes chase.  and when he nickers to them, they come gallumping, in their awkward way, to his call.

i love that my horse will come stand with his head inside the feed shed while i get his dinner ready, but will NOT come INTO the feed shed.

i love that when i take him his dinner he will stand patiently outside of his house while i fill the feeder and get everything ready.  i love that he will NOT enter until i tell him to.

i love that my horse will stand patiently for me to open the gate to his pen so he can go out and eat.  he will stand there until i tell him he can go out the open gate.

i love that my horse calls to me whenever he sees me outside and will leave his food to come see what i'm doing.

i love that when he hears me reading to my boys in the backyard during homeschool he will come find us and then beg to be allowed into the yard to eat while we sit out there working.

i love that my horse is my partner.

i love parelli.

hans h.e. isenbart

chaos

"In the midst of transformation, the chaos seems never-ending. It is difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

But when you get to the other side, order resumes and your higher vision shines brightly in the fresh, new light you have created."

sometimes the journey of natural horsemanship can look like chaos.  it's all ups and downs, tiny, halting steps forward then falling, rolling, leaping backward.  then tiny steps forward again.  it's a give and take that requires a lot of commitment to the actual journey and very little thought of the finished product.  if you are in this for the horse then there really is never a finished product.  there is always learning, changing, making your journey at once chaotic and joyful.

"you know you are putting the relationship first when rapport, connection, trust and confidence are more important than achieving the task or goal itself."  ~linda parelli

when you put your horse's needs first then great things will follow.  if you are taking care of your relationship before you know it you will have surpassed all your goals.  this is something that i keep telling myself, hoping that it proves true for billy and i!  our journey has been a bit uncomfortable lately... they do say that the best learning happens outside of your comfort zone!  sigh.  i am definitely doing some licking and chewing over here.

but having my horse offer to load himself in any open horse trailer, jump a single down barrel whenever he sees one, boldly walk up to any pedestal and put all four feet on it, come sideways towards me with just a wave of my hand, is the most amazing feeling.  having billy feel so willing to do what i ask and eagerly look forward to our play time is an amazing feeling.  this makes me feel like i am on the right track.

chaos and all.

pat parelli

a little something for the weekend

what happens after level 4?  you pick your sport!  i'm thinking billy's sport will be trail riding and doing demonstrations...

what do you think?  to bit or not to bit?  that is the question...

i'm a firm believer in the KISS method of feeding.  billy gets hay/grass (depending on the time of year) and plain old triple cleaned oats with either dried chamomile flowers, OR ground flax seed OR this herbal mix.   i prefer to never feed all at the same time.  i've been feeding the herbal mix to our goats and their hair coats have gotten so healthy and shiny.  a wonderful side effect i've noticed is that they are not bothered by the flying and buzzing bugs like billy is.  the other night after i had fed the goats billy was begging to see their little feed pans, so i allowed him a look.  he immediately started to lick and lick the residual herb mixture that was in the bottom of the pan.  i went straight into the house and ordered him the very same mix.  when the herbs came he tried to open the bag all by himself and anxiously awaited his chance at them.  as i was mixing his feed he was nickering and nickering, pacing around his pen.  he never does this.  hmmmm how interesting!

i also use young living essential oils on him.  he will sometimes have the opportunity to choose his own oils.  he is very good at this!  if you haven't looked into these for your horse and yourself i high recommend them!

shooting

handsome hubby was out practicing with his new firearm and the goats and billy were about 50 feet away.  i "shot" this video to document how well he handles the loud "BANG!"

taking a break

billy and i are taking a little break.  we learned so much at the david lichman clinic.  after that we have more than enough to keep us busy for the next few YEARS...  but i hurt my foot and can barely hobble around and i think billy has earned a break, so we are hanging up the halter and concentrating on eating grass (billy blaze) and healing (me).

we'll be back soon!!!

audrey hepburn

"for attractive lips, speak words of kindness.  for lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.  for a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.  for beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.  for poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.  people, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed.  remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.  as you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others."

~ Audrey Hepburn

sunday part five

the clinic wrapped up and those of us that volunteered to help with the clinic stayed to clean up and help david load all his gear.

billy's pen had been taken over by a herd of roping steers and there was a full on roping going on in the outdoor arena... so billy had to stand tied in the indoor arena while we worked around him.  he didn't seem to mind, unless i managed to stay out of his sight or hearing too long.  but it was a great experience for him.  he calmed down very nicely and stood patiently.

just before we volunteers said good bye we got to see the famous 13 do a few of his moves.  ones that wouldn't stress him too much in his stall.  he is a sweet boy and clearly missed showing off during the demonstration.

heather and i said our goodbyes, went out and tied billy to the trailer while we finished loading all our stuff and tying everything down.  heather filled billy's hay net and i took it to soak it for the trip home.  it was 7 pm by this time... we had started our sunday at 8 am!!  i pretty much had billy online from 9 am until 7 pm with a half an hour lunch break in there somewhere.  it was a long day!

billy loaded into the trailer with just a little coaxing which surprised me as the trip on friday afternoon was long and hot and tiring.  he must have been ready to go home!  i know i was!

heather and i set out, after changing into some comfy travel clothes.  we stopped at a gas station to check the air pressure in all the trailer tires and off we went!

at about 7:45 i heard a POP and saw some of my trailer tire flying off down the interstate behind us...  we had a flat.

i limped the truck and trailer to the side of the road, we hopped out to take a look and decided to continue limping along until we could pull all the way off the interstate.  i wasn't interested in changing that tire so close to semi trucks barreling along at 70 miles per hour.

[caption id="attachment_420" align="aligncenter" width="640"] even in the semi darkness, covered in mosquitoes, sweating and wearing axle grease, heather and i can look sexy. keepin it real![/caption]

after some sweating and grumbling and then lots of laughing and giggling, heather and i had the hub cap off the trailer tire, backed the trailer up onto the ramp and had the spare tire ON!  whoot whoot!  we totally rocked that flat tire!!!



billy and i pulled into our driveway at 1 am.  thank goodness it was nearly a full moon.  billy backed calmly off the trailer after a harrowing ride that lasted 5 and a half hours... and shouldn't have been longer than 3.

wow.  what a trip!!!  exciting right up to the very end.  we totally know how to ROCK a weekend!

sunday part four

in the afternoon we moved right into using music to help encourage rhythm, relaxation and maintaining gait.



use music you like with a good down beat.   you will count the beats per minute then match a tempo to your horses natural gait.  to count the beats, time your counting for 15 seconds and then multiply by four.... or use Turn Over to help you count the beats.  Turn Over will allow you to count the beats using the space bar on your computer and then it will automatically show the beats per minute alongside your song in itunes.  so you know at a glance what you need.



most everyone rode for this segment... i was able to match strides while being on the ground with billy.  lucky for me he loves stick to me and will match my strides nearly perfectly without the music!  the music made it easier as he quickly figured out that the down beat was important.

you want to get two eyes and two ears??  dance!!  billy would just LOOK at me while i was dancing away in the middle of the arena.  he was awaiting my every move looking for an opportunity to mirror me.  just think, doing the jitterbug with my billy blaze!

david used all kinds of music to get his point across in this session.  classical, classic rock, country, pop, alternative rock, etc.  really you can do this with whatever music you like.  i plan to use LOTS of lindsey stirling...

during this session one of the other riders decided to get off her horse because there was some anxiety coming up in her.  her herd mates had left the arena and she was anxious, so her rider just hopped off and joined me on the ground.  david noticed that both our horses were matching the beat pretty well, in their different ways, and tossed out that we should do the carousel!  i've always wanted to do that but no one would ever play that with my "shark" billy blaze!!!  how exciting!



the little gal was just 14 years old, but up for the challenge.  her mare is a quarter horse/ paint cross who trotted just as a quarter horse/paint cross would.  billy was showing his long floaty trot so it made for an interesting carousel!  he was a bit faster than bailey, but they both did their best.  i was so proud!  we lost billy once and bailey once, but i thought we did awesome for our first time with 9 other horses trotting around the rail of the arena.  both of our horses were listening to us in all that commotion!

awesome.

sunday part three

after lunch, in the afternoon, david brought our goals from the beginning of the clinic out into the arena.  we were all gathered, all 11 of us with our horses and he went over each and every one of our goals.  if we missed something then we discussed it and did something about it!

mine was my circling game.  i just can not get billy to offer more than 16 strides of canter on the circle.

then came david...

he had me send him out on the circle, without focusing so much on my send = pointing with my finger.  i'm to use my intention more.  makes sense for level 4!

i'm to focus my eyes just behind his drive line and with the intention that i'm a wildcat about to pounce on his back, ask him to transition up.  then if he doesn't go i bring my stick and string UP from the ground in an arc, kind of a sideways movement, and ZING him in the rear, aiming for his tail.  it took two times of this from david and billy was picking up the canter with just the intention of canter.  then he offered 29 strides!!!!  almost 3 laps.  i was amazed.  david handed him back and said, "done!"  LOL!

now i just have to practice this myself.  when i clean up my mushy communication and become more concise and clear with my intention that will really help.

sunday part two

later that day when we got our horses david had us preparing for liberty close up circles.  this had me processing quite a bit.  it seemed like a simple process, but was actually quite difficult to teach.  both billy and i go RBI when we are learning.  so here i was learning a new technique and teaching it.  and poor billy.  he went a little RBI and a little RBE in this session.  BUT i was able to pull up my big girl panties and get it done.

my biggest concern during this session was that billy would leave me and run off biting and kicking the other horses.  he left me twice, but really had no interest in the other horses, just needed to leave my energy and give himself a little space.  david said that when billy leaves i must not bring him back with cookies and petting because this just enforces the leaving.  horses are smart and figure out quickly that if they leave they get to come back to cookies.  duh.  this makes so much sense!  instead when he leaves, join his dance, get him back and then go back to the thing that caused him to leave, but hold onto the rope this time...

in this session we were playing with getting and KEEPING two eyes.  keeping the horses concentration/attention on us.  causing the horse to believe that we are the sweet spot.  the horse HAS to be with us and the horse GETS to be with us.

to do this we start with the horses head at our belly button, “the sweet spot”.  then we ask our horse to circle at liberty by sending them and tapping their shoulder with our stick if they need help moving their feet.  BUT they must keep two eyes on us at first.  the horse will kind of go sideways in order to accomplish this.  if the horse starts to leave, back up, or takes two eyes off us, then we really flick their hind quarters, phase 4, to correct.  the flick must be quick, kind of like a snake striking, and must be done on the horse, not on the ground.  it’s just like hide the hiney!  when you get both eyes again, repeat the ask and allow the movement as long as they keep their eyes on you.

[caption id="attachment_404" align="aligncenter" width="640"] left: hiding that hiney middle: he left! right: bringing him back to the sweet spot[/caption]

it’s hard to get the timing and the feel for this one.  it seems so simple, but the horse is so close to you that it’s difficult to keep things gathered up.  my stick felt too long, my rope kept getting tangled around my feet.  when i put the rope around his neck he left me twice.  sigh.  i was a mess!

david said my communication was too mushy.  i must be clear and concise with my movements to get the desired result from billy, otherwise he’ll just leave!

send, drop my hand when he moves, tap his shoulder if he needs help.  if he gets too far away, backs up or takes his eyes off me, swat that hiney and bring him back into the sweet spot.  draw, draw, draw!  i must be sure that if i have to swat him that i give him pets and cookies to balance the reinforcement.  i feel like too often i have to phase 4 him and then i don’t balance that with friendly.  this has resulted in my draw not being as good as it once was.  balance is key!

here is a little video that i made last night of our progress...